How many Victorian ALP politicians does it take to keep Melbourne safe? They don’t  know. They’ve never tried it. 

A sign should be put up at Melbourne Airport which says, ‘Welcome to Melbourne. Carjackings, Home Invasions, and Assaults are our speciality.’

If any of the gangs you can’t stop Mr. Premier Daniel Andrews invade my house, they’d better have their life insurance paid and up to date so as they can leave their mama’s a little something.